Dr. Cali Estes featured in UPJOURNEY: How To Stop Being a Manchild


Most of us have come in contact with the “manchild.  Maybe we are raising one, maybe married to one, or maybe we are one.

Failure to Launch Syndrome is a real issue and we can help! Read on to learn more from the excerpt from UpJourney’s article.


How To Stop Being a Manchild

Some people avoid the responsibility of becoming a grown-up man and consequently remain a man-child.

These people seem to refuse to grow up. You might even know them personally—it could be a friend, a co-worker, or even yourself.

Here’s how to stop being a “man-child,” according to experts.

You heard of the SheShed and the ManCave, but have you dealt with the ManChild? The Manchild is a full groan, real adult (but only by age) that still has full tantrums like a 5-year-old. They generally don’t have a job, need a lot of material things to feel good about themselves, and find bathroom humor funny. Generally, they never really had to have a responsibility and expect others to do for them as their parents have consistently done.

My husband’s baby brother is a Manchild at 45 years old. His mother pays his mortgage, gave him her car, pays his credit card, and even gives money right out of her account so he can go to dinner and get drinks. His wife has never worked and they think this lifestyle is perfectly OK, as the mother allows it. When they come for holiday, he will lift his shirt up and yell “get in my belly” and act like different characters on comedy shows. Everyone laughs. He spends more time making funny memes and videos than actually looking for a job.

Shut off the monetary means

Well, you are going to have to parent. If the funding source (wife, mother or partner) does not stop allowing the behavior it will simply never end. You will need to get your diapers ready because it will be years of this behavior.

If the monetary means are shut off, the manchild will have a full meltdown like a 5-year-old in Target when they are told they can not have the Bighwheel and fling themselves on the floor in full tantrum display. Be prepared. it has to be done because they will not man-up on their own.

Boundaries must be set and expectations must be discussed along with holding them accountable

The reason my husband’s brother is still allowed at 45 years old to have mommy pay ALL his bills (and his wife’s too) is that she refuses to set a boundary. If she set a boundary and only gave him a small amount, he would be forced to adult. Find work, pay his mortgage, and his own grocery bills.

Accountability must be followed through. When the tantrum starts, simply say ‘I love you, but this is no longer tolerated” and hang up or walk away. It will take time but the manchild will learn that the behavior is no longer an option. If their bank account is in the negative stop bailing them out. That goes with accountability.

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If you are ready to help those with Failure to Launch syndrome, check our Failure to Launch Coach class, exclusive to The Addictions Academy!

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