Serenity in Sobriety
So you’re sober now. Big deal, right? I’ve been sober a few times, and relapsed a few times myself. And I’m not sure if it was the addictive mindset of mine back then, or if it was because I simply got bored, became miserable. You know how they say you can have fun without drinking? I’ve heard it hundreds of times, but just couldn’t understand how, because I never tried to apply the principles to my life needed to live a happy, fun life in sobriety, until I found my first real routine…
A Job couldn’t keep me sober:
I stopped drinking back in August, 2015 the first time. That lasted for nearly 2 years. In fact, I was in a sober living facility for that amount of time. I stayed because the CEO had hired me as executive assistant. But I was also miserable, wallowing in self pity the entire time. As soon as I left for another job and moved out, I was drinking again a few days later, for 9 months straight. Every single day, because I quickly found myself at the point of no return, where drinking wasn’t even to have fun, but was to keep from feeling deathly ill. When I was arrested, yet again, in May 2018 for public intoxication, I decided to put myself in yet another recovery home. This time was different…
Replacing Bad Habits with Healthy Ones:
First things first, unlike the old facility, I was required to find a sponsor and work the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous with said sponsor. My sponsor happened to be a member of the local gym, and basically told me if I didn’t go with him that I was a loser, in a somewhat joking but still serious manner. So I went. Then I went again, and again. I became a member, and this was my everyday routine: Gym, step work, 7 pm meeting (at least 5 a week). See before, I isolated myself. I didn’t exercise, I stayed in my room with no lights, no TV, just residing in the most dangerous place of all: my own mind. This time, I had to force myself to do things I didn’t want to do, because I needed them. With so many things that I was required to do every single day, I became used to it. I enjoyed it, I felt better than ever; mentally, physically, spiritually…
So you’ve worked a recovery program and had a routine for some time now. You know the lingo, you feel the burn, and the relief every day. Maybe you even meditate like I do. But now it’s time to move out of the recovery home. What do I do now? Well first of all, don’t make the mistake of saying F*** your program. You feel better because you were required to do these new things you do. But can you keep it up on your own? Some do, some don’t. The best advice from experience that I can give, is to keep in touch with your support group. Keep “going to the gym”, or whatever your routine entails. Don’t isolate. They say that good is the enemy of the best. If you half-ass things, you get half-assed results. If you stop doing what was once required, eventually, you could lose what you’ve acquired through your recovery. So let those things become second nature to you: like you don’t even have to think much about them to do, or while doing them; Autopilot.
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