I Asked For Help. Written by Jay Keefe

I Asked For Help

I’m a recovering alcoholic.

I stay sober by doing what I was taught.

It’s that simple.

It’s not easy, not in the least.

But it is simple.

There is a solution.

I try to do what I was taught on a daily basis but sometimes I fail and sometimes I fail miserably. But guess what? I still don’t pick up that first drink. I get back up, dust myself off, call someone I can trust (which is something I should’ve done before I did whatever it was that caused me to fail miserably) and I carry on.

I’m not an expert. I’m not a doctor, or a psychiatrist or psychologist.

I’m just a guy who was done with drinking, so I did the hardest thing I ever had to do; I asked for help.

I’m going to share what I’ve done (and continue to do).  So you can take it or leave it.  It may not work for you or for your neighbor or brother or aunt, but it worked for me.

So here it is:

I asked for help.

I surrendered. I wasn’t strong enough to beat alcoholism. I was never going to win that war. So I surrendered. I waved the white fucking flag and I surrendered.

I did the work that was suggested of me. I hated it at the beginning, but I did it.  I was defiant and angry and had not one, but two, chips on my shoulders.  But, like I said, I did it.

I did it the way I was showed. I didn’t do it the way I thought I should do it (that way never worked for me, as evidenced by 20 plus years of drinking my life away).

I went to 12 step meetings-a ton of them. I did 90 in 90 days. When I didn’t like one, I made the brilliant decision to not go to that one again.  So I’d go to a different one.  And guess what? The 12 step program I belong to is worldwide.  There was absolutely no excuse.

When I didn’t have a car (for the first year of my sobriety) I’d walk. Or ask a friend to take me. Or take a taxi. Or an Uber.

I did the work that was suggested with another man. It’s men with men and women with women for a reason. There’s no distraction from the work. There’s no drama. Most of my friends are female and I’m more comfortable talking to women but I did the work with a man. Why? Because that’s what was suggested. So I did it.

I don’t make any major decisions without running it by someone I trust.

I help others.


I simply offer them the suggestions I was offered.

If they don’t like them or don’t want to do them or don’t want to work with someone of the same sex or don’t have two feet to walk to a meeting or aren’t sure they’re ready to stop drinking, guess what? That’s on them. I did all I can do.

I can’t make anyone drink and I can’t keep anyone sober.

All I can do is tell them what worked for me.

So I do.

I don’t have any magic potion or special ability.  I’m not brilliant or a genius, nor do I have some secret shortcut to long-term recovery (trust me, if there was one, I would’ve discovered it a long time ago).

Today I follow a simple 75-year-old program that has worked for millions of other drunks all over this chaotic, messy, fucked up, planet of ours.

And I do it one day at a time.