The Addictions Coach: How do I know if I’m Co-Dependent?

 

How do I know if I’m Co-Dependent?

 

What is Co-dependency? It is an emotional and behavioral condition that affects an individual’s ability to have a healthy, mutually satisfying relationship. It is also known as “relationship addiction” because people with codependency often form or maintain relationships that are one-sided, emotionally destructive and/or abusive. Essentially, they become addicted to another person. People in early recovery have a much higher chance of succumbing to codependency. Here are 4 ways to tell if you’re codependent.

  1. Is there a person who’s always on your mind? While people have relationships with others, it’s normal for someone else to take space in your thoughts. The difference of someone who is codependent is that, they allow someone else to become an obsession. Their thoughts become completely consumed with that person, and that’s all that they think about.
  2. Do you need their complete attention? Do you thrive off their attention, good or bad? A codependent will force situations to have the other person devout all their attention to you. They create drama, and other issues to ensure that the person they are codependent on will devout their entire existence to you.
  3. People pleasing. Do you go out of your way for someone? Sometimes putting their wants ahead of your needs? Someone who is codependent will constantly put the other person before themselves, out of fear of losing them, and fear of them not feeling the same way. They do whatever they can to ensure that the other person “feels” the same way they do.
  4. Is the relationship a chore? If there is more arguing, and unhappiness, chances are it’s an unhealthy codependent relationship. A codependent will put all their effort into keeping this relationship going. It may seem like the relationship is worth it, but deep down you know. You know that feelings aren’t mutual, and that you are harming yourself by forcing the relationship to move forward.

Codependent relationships are very dangerous. They force people to deny their own happiness to try to make someone else happy. The hardest part of fixing the relationship is recognizing that there is a problem. One the problem is identified, you can take certain steps to move forward. Healthy boundaries are the key to fixing an unhealthy relationship. People in early recovery are at a higher risk for codependency because they are still hung upon the obsession of drugs or alcohol. Which is why effective treatment and the understanding of healthy relationships must be utilized.

If you need help The Addictions Coach is here for you.  1.800.706.0318