6 Things A Woman Who Is Difficult To Love Can Learn From Her Relationships
Originally published on Lifehack.org
Relationships in general are difficult. Although everything about them is exciting, adventurous, daring, etc., they still take a ton of work. It’s more difficult when you’re a woman who is difficult to love. You shouldn’t look at yourself and think something is wrong with you. You’re just careful about who you invest your time in.
People are drawn to you like you would not believe. But, if they happen to get too close, they may wish that they had kept their distance. Because of your complicated nature, there will be intense arguments, but intense make-ups follow. I’ve heard people talk about complication as being a bad thing, and I always wondered how happy living a simple life could possibly be.
There are few who can keep up with your beautiful and brilliant self because more often than not, you’re driving them absolutely crazy. Unfortunately for your partner, you drain them of their energy because you just so happen to feed off it so easily.
You’ve probably noticed these qualities about yourself, and after a few failed relationships, you’re looking to make some changes. You want to become easier, someone who’s easier to love, but all of that is boring and foreign to you.
Everything you do is circled around passion — you swim in it so gracefully. Without passion, life is meaningless to you, and so are your relationships. You’re a nightmare and a dream in one woman’s body. You’re captivating and alluring to everyone around you.
You may be hard to love, but you are so worth it. You are deserving of the most passionate kind of love there is out there, and you won’t stop until you discover it.
When you find a love that lasts, embrace it, hold on to it so tightly because for the first time in a long time, you finally have something right. Here’s what women like you can learn from relationships.
1. Love takes work
When you take a look back at all of your failed relationships, you may start to ask yourself what is wrong with you. The answer to that question is absolutely nothing.
You may find yourself settling for these lukewarm sorta-kinda’s to satisfy your longing for an intensely passionate relationship with someone who understands what it’s like to be loved by you. The truth of the matter is that those people can’t handle you and everything that you have to offer, that’s why they haven’t worked out. You should be loved so fiercely that it ignites your inner passion to the fullest.
It may be difficult to love you, but the truth is, the person who deserves you, earns you.
2. Love is patience
The only kind of person who is going to be able to handle someone like you is someone who has an incredible amount of patience. You understand that patience and love come as a package deal.
You’re chaotic, and most times there’s no point in trying to fix it because, I mean, why would someone want to change who you are? The right person will be able to work with you side by side instead of trying to “fix” you.
3. Happiness comes from self-love
You have probably heard it a million times before, but you will truly never be able to love another person until you are able to love you for exactly who you are.
When you begin to truly appreciate you, and spend quality time alone for self-improvement and self-development, you’ll begin to notice why your shots at love before tended to fail.
4. Love is compromise
You have never been a good compromiser. You have a routine and anything that disrupts that routine is not allowed. So, in return, all of your relationships fall to the ground.
Once you come to the realization that no love worthy of your time can survive without compromise, you’ll be able to embrace it for what it is. It’s all about give and take.
5. You must live with your craziness
Most of us try and hide our craziness for as long as we possibly can. But what’s the point? You can’t possibly do that forever — that’s not who you are.
Truthfully, it gets hard being told that you’re absolutely nuts, but in all honesty, you are kinda (really) a crazy woman. It’s fine. Your craziness isn’t a bad thing. It lights up the world. You make the world different.
6. Love yourself just the way you are
Just because you are difficult to love does not mean that you are a bad woman or someone who is unable to be loved. You are just complicated, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that or you. You’re beautiful, fun, caring, adventurous, and fierce.
Take your failed relationships as lessons and just that. Don’t spend your time analyzing them after they’re over, wondering what you could have done differently to make them last.
You are an incredible human being and only a truly brave heart can love you. All the others will take it with a grain of salt and walk away, no questions asked. It’s not impossible to have a relationship with you just because you are difficult, and you learn to love yourself in spite of that.
The right love will love you as passionately as you deserve.
Erica WagnerMy name’s Erica. I freelance by day and bartend by night. I am currently in a codependent relationship with my 2 year old Great Dane, Jada. My hobbies include eating everything, making people laugh, photography and taking naps. “A drop of ink can make a million think.”